May Eleven

Quote Wars

It is just too tempting. When you go into your email account and fix your signature, you add a quote. Why not? It might brighten someone’s day. Or get them thinking…or remind them of something important. Yes, those are high reaching goals for an email signature quote. But gregorific aims high.

Certain people have signature quotes. Let’s categorize.*
Educators: Librarians have inspirational quotes about reading. Elementary School Principals have Dr. Seuss quotes or quotes about the importance of teachers.
Salespeople: Fruit Plus reps have quotes from happy customers. Scrapbook reps have quotes about never losing a memory. *These are broad generalizations based on people I know.*

And then there are the outliers, the rogues, the mavericks, who have quotes because they feel like it. I read a lot into quotes. I’m interested in how a quote becomes a “quote” and how different meanings can be ascribed to the same string of words. Yes, I like to analyze quotes. I pick mine carefully and read others thoughtfully.

How do other people pick? Maybe they have a favorite quote and they never change it because it perfectly encapsulates who they are in a flash phrase.  
Or maybe they are boxed in. Like a librarian or principal. They are landlocked in a sense. Their quotes have to be upbeat, usually educational or inspiring. They can get away with a goofy one sometimes but not all the time. The principal I know alternates between Dr. Seuss, Helen Keller, Mr. Rogers, MLK, and Einstein. 

​I’m lucky. My playing field is wide open. I have no sponsorships to be loyal to. I can pick a kooky quote or a political one, feminist, obscure... It’s almost too much freedom. For a long time I wondered if it was obnoxious. Am I bragging that I read? (Well, I do.) Am I telling people what to think? (Take it or leave it.) Am I wasting their time? (Ha, gotcha.)

I have one friend who also always has a quote at the bottom of her emails. I enjoy watching for when it changes. When she switches quotes, I wonder why. It spurs me to switch my quote. And then she changes hers again. And then I think, hers is so good, I’ll find a better one for myself. And then hers would change again. And then I’d…
You get the picture.
So I finally called it what it is. A Quote War. She advances. I retreat, then press forward.
I engage my generals (daughters) in strategic planning. We decide to exploit the political weather for an easy advance, much like Waterloo. I follow this with a shoot-and-scoot strategy that I learned from my dog--I change my quote three times in one week. Bam, bam, bam. 

Then, a musical icon dies unexpectedly, so I blitzkrieg with a powerful quote from him.

But I leave my flank exposed and my friend uses a better quote from the same iconic artist.

I feign a retreat and go a day without a quote. I only hope she notices- we don’t email that much and I can only think of so many fake reasons to email her. I should mention…my friend is unaware of the battle raging between our quotes.
Then, in a bold carpet bombing approach, I rapidly deploy a different quote per day, making sure to cover every domain of wisdom: religious, intellectual, zen, emo, maternal. (That’s it, right?)
But I fall into a booby trap and use a grammatically incorrect quote from a popular book. To anyone who didn’t read the book, it might seem like mockery or something even worse.

While I’m bottlenecked over a replacement, my friend ambushes with a quote from that president that everyone loves. ;)
Spirits are low in the gregorific foxhole. A random friend accuses me of email graffiti. Another mentions that she does not like a certain quote. Unaware, she uses a quote to explain why she doesn't like a quote. “I do not think it means what you think it means.” {Princess Bride! Humph!}

I recognize that we are at the tipping point in our Quote War. My next move could change everything. I call for reinforcements, hoping that any minute a golden hero will say something brand new and instantly quote worthy. Is it so much to ask for a life changing quote from Obama? I’ll even take a Beyonce quote if it’s epic. ​​

Day by day I wait. Will this siege never end? I can only hope my friend’s supplies are cut off…I do know her internet service can be spotty…    ​

I imagine this Quote War could go on for some time. Rest assured, I will keep gregorific fans updated.

​The entire campaign leads me to wonder if I should conduct a social experiment to see who reads an email quote. How could I tell? I could insert a false quote that instigates a response. Like a made-up quote (Benjamin Franklin never said that!) or a self-quote (Where do you get off?) or a rude quote (Excuse me?) or an inflammatory anti-quote by Trump or that lady who messed around with the president. No one could resist responding to any of those. 

I could send 100 emails and then see how many replies I get pertaining to the quote. Then I know that percentage of people read it. No, the margin of error is too large. I’ll need to confer with my statisticians. Stay tuned. The summer is coming. Social experiments run strong during that season in Gregorific Land.
​
Don't quote me on that, 
~gregorific ​​