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December Twenty Six

12/26/2012

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Over Caring

One of the major efforts in my life is to not be a careless person.

To put it more positively, I try to live a conscious life. Once I tweak my autocorrect about one thing, another rears its medusa-like head. And then I set out on another cleanse of some sort. My focus on one might dilute my focus on another.

People, this is a steady stream of effort. And reflection. And more effort.

I think most people are like this but with different issues on their lists.

When I see something I really dislike in another person, then it reminds me to not be that way myself.  

If I notice I’m irritating others then I bend over backwards to stop it.

Gosh, all this effort to be me.

Do you ever feel like the only one in the room really feeling each minute? Thinking and experiencing time from not just one perspective? It’s exhausting. What kind of disability is that? Maybe over-empathy or super-sensitivity or insecurity-overdrive? It also involves the misfortune of sensing when we are displeasing someone and over trying to fix it, thereby creating another problem.

The better I feel, the better I express what I really think. To fiddlesticks with anyone who disagrees. I like to speak my mind and it’s taken me a while to figure that out.

I shouldn’t care so much about what other people think. Easy to say. Hard for some of us to do.

 I’m often wrong. I write letters to the government- a lot.  My reaction to the oil spill was to write 30 letters. It didn’t seem like enough but it did help me to feel better-- just saying what I thought to people in power.

I also get involved in school matters, to the chagrin of many school matters. I am uppity about the local and global environment. And I believe in putting children first- no matter what.  And while I won’t judge you, I will tell you exactly what I think. And… I’ll tell you if I realize I’m wrong.

I don’t want my kids to have the antennae I have developed. I want them to walk into a room and see, feel, and be themselves and only that.  Who cares what others think, it shouldn’t change who you are.

When they leave if everyone sighs in relief, then I am confident the room was full of dimwits. I want them to think that way too.

Can a hyper empathetic raise a brick wall?

Lots of mortaring of morals and honesty is a first layer. Further masonry is left in the hands of fate.

Always thinkin’,

~gregorific

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Grief

12/15/2012

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If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all.  

~Pearl S. Buck
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December Five

12/5/2012

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Last year, I was too chicken to officially register on the NaNoWriMo site. This year, I went ballz to the wallz and registered. Eeks!

Remember? NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month.

NaNoWriMo is one of those weird made-up words that whenever you say it you aren't sure it's right. All month, gregorific's crew happily overused NaNoWriMo. Mostly just for the pleasure of feeling it roll off your tongue; and then the delicious doubt about whether you said it right; and then the satisfied smile when you figure you did say it right. Because your fellow crew member responded the same way. 

Let me illustrate how things were around the casa de gregorific throughout the month of November:

Who's doing the dishes? NaNoWriMo! (Translates to = NOT Mom.) 
Why is this place such a wreck? NaNoWriMo! 
What is Mom doing? NaNoWriMo!
Where is my _______________ (Fill in the blank)?  NaNoWriMo! (Translates to = Find it yourself!)
When are we putting up our decorations? NaNoWriMo!
Weekend plans? NaNoWriMo!
Thanksgiving? NaNoWriMo!

And this is how I looked ALL month: 
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I loved it as much as I love the Wrimo Rhino. Which is to say A LOT.

My crew also loved it--and the fun name helped, A LOT. NaNoWriMo!
But it could never last longer than a month. Gregorific's abode would explode. 
And I did give up a couple times. I would waste several days catching up with real life and wallowing in my defeat. Mostly my problem came not from character development or lack of setting or desire to write. It was plot, people. I wanted it to twist and turn but also feel smooth as a petal. 
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So, a couple days would go by after I'd given up. Plot would simmer and bubble. And then, -boil over-and I'd pick it back up *double time*. Such is the way of gregorific. Ebb and flow, people. 
So...was I able to create 50,000 words in a month? 
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Ya'll......I did it! I completed the writing challenge of NaNoWriMo to create 50,000 new words of fiction in the month of November. And this year I have it officially documented. I risked having success or failure recorded for all time on the internet. 

I won, ya’ll!
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It was fun! And well worth registering on the NaNoWriMo.com site. Their bar graph was a good visual aid for me to explain to my crew how far I had to go. And their incentives rocked. I will be flaunting my t-shirt all year. I liked the challenge. There is something freeing about writing and writing and not looking back. Cares to the wind people, insecurity and over-editing to the wind!  
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I will soon share my NaNoWriMo project with you! Until then, feel the love, people…thank you!
~gregorific
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