Blog Archives

April Thirty

4/30/2012

Breaking-Up Sucks. Buy SIGNS on Amazon.com You'll feel better.

Wowsa, I love advertising! I never knew.
I've been having fun creating ads on facebook and goodreads and then tracking their progress, clicks, views, demographics. You know, obsessing on my ad performance. I've found that less is more and size doesn't matter.
*Ahem*
I'm sure this doesn't apply to anything else in my life.
So, I'm always here to share. Above is one I made yesterday- 5 clicks. Below is one I just made and targeted to those who love: reading, David Sedaris, and short fiction. No kidding, I narrowed it down that far. Later today I'll see how many clicks it gets. If any! I love this stuff!

In a Hurry?

Read it. Live it. Follow it. Buy SIGNS for 99 cents on amazon. www.gregorific.com

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April Twenty Eight

4/28/2012

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I want to give a shout out to C. Hope Clark for presenting a really interesting and helpful workshop today. I was so torn as to whether to go: childcare issues, the registration fee, recovering from the stomach flu, the perpetual super-messy house breathing down my throat.

But then , I shoved it all aside and called in a couple favors and voila, found myself sitting in the public library conference room from 9-4 on a Saturday. Yup, that was another drawback. I wasn’t sure I could sit still that long and just listen. My college and grad school days are LONG gone. And I wasn’t so awesome at making it to and sitting through classes then either.

Not only was C. Hope Clark inspiring and interesting, she also gave me a boatload of tips about how to find funds to keep on writing and actually maybe possibly contribute to my family’s finances. She gave out lists and lists and links and links of sites to check out for grants, contests, freelancing, jobs, and more. Her advice to stick with it until something works was just what I needed to hear.

And then she covered how to revise your first draft in detail. She broke it down into steps that I could actually make into a checklist of sorts.

I’ve been to big ticket conferences in New York, and middle-sized state conferences, and free lectures, book signings, craft seminars, webinars, etc. This was by far the best one. It covered a huge span of information and I didn’t check my watch once. C. Hope Clark did not read the hand-outs to us, which is a serious pet peeve of mine, if I wanted something read to me then I ‘d commit a crime (ba-dah-dum-dum). Anyway, I didn’t fidget or fake a coughing attack, or even daydream. I actually sat and absorbed what she was saying with my interest at a strong level the entire time. I couldn’t wait to get back to my trusty laptop.

Of course as I sit here and type on said laptop, her debut novel is on my bed stand, taunting me with it’s incredibly soft cover (I petted it while I drove) and it’s tempting tag line, ‘A killer wants to make certain she buys the farm’ . Yeah, I better power off and dig in to this mystery.

As a thanks for all she shared today, here’s a quick plug for C. Hope Clark’s first Carolina Slade Mystery Lowcountry Bribe. Buy it on amazon.com or check out her website www.FundsforWriters.com or www.chopeclark.com.

~Megan
www.gregorific.com

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April Twenty Second

4/22/2012

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Lots of trash picked up this weekend, best picks included: Jewel Black Pepper can from the 1950’s, many many cartons of milk-free Muscle Milk ($&*), a rolling pin, a super-old can of Whitman and Lord Extra Dry Beer, and a lot of tasty sweets wrappers. This year’s good news- no condom wrappers! Or contents of opened condom packages! I count that as a good Earth Day.{I hope that doesn't mean people are having unsafe sex.}

Plus the rain held off and we gathered about eight or nine trash bags of litter with a bunch of amazing neighborhood volunteers. Biggest piece of trash- a huge square of styrofoam. Smallest- well, no competition there, cigarette butts.

I felt we were an anti-littering message just being out there in our orange vests, rain boots, gloves, and huge trash bags. Before letting that trash escape out of your trashcan and blow down the street, think of cute little kids picking it up in six months. That image would deter all but the truly snickering, black-hearted among us. The type that delights in throwing the first half-full beer can out the window the day after Earth Day.

To the black-hearted: whoever you are, wherever you are, you are wasting a lot of beer. Really. Why half-full? Is it better to throw, better aim wise? My friend even found a six pack with three unopened beers attached. Dude, we’re talking some serious slow learners here, wasting booze and the environment in one fell swoop.

Another highlight of the Clean-Up Day is the information we are provided by the non-profit that supplies the gloves, bags, and orange vests. One page is about what to pick up and what to leave the hell alone. They actually recommend not picking up half-full bottles in case they’re bombs or explosive with pressure. Personally, I’m okay with a little risk.

But the other page is about meth labs. How to spot one and what to do if you find one. Every year they hand this out and it intrigues me. I stifle the very, very small wish that I will find a meth lab. Not that I’d start cooking up, but that I could do as instructed and run away quickly and call the police. After a little peek inside of course. No, kidding.

I wish I could see the numbers about how many meth labs are stumbled upon. How common is this? How likely am I to have my very own Breaking Bad drama in my backyard?

Well, the day was a success and now I can focus on my writing. I have a snippet of a YA mystery that I wrote and am editing now. I’ll post it soon, a teaser of sorts. I recently entered it in an open post contest so I’m fine sharing with the wide world of gregorific.

By the way, thanks for being gregorific. It matters. I care. Thanks!
~Megan

Special Note to ($&*) who was singled out earlier for littering specialty drinks called ‘milk-free Muscle Milk’:

Dear milk-free Muscle Milk drinker and horrible litterer,

I will find you. Beware. I am everywhere. Watching, waiting. I know what you like to drink. And it’s weird. Why do you need milk for your muscles and why must it be milk-free? How is that even possible? I will find out. Even if it means tracking down every weight-lifting, lactose intolerant, I’m sorry I’m going to say it –meathead- out there and smelling their breath for Muscle Milk, and checking their route to the gym, work, or the health food store. I’ll be watching, waiting. When I see that window roll down, and that milk-free Muscle Milk built arm extending out for a pitch into the woods near where I live, I’ll pounce. And until you know the wrath of an eco-conscious housewife who spent hours in an electric orange vest picking up smelly, curdled cartons of mush, then you haven’t seen anything yet. Your milk-free Muscles will not help you when I surreptitiously dial the police and report a non-emergency litter fine zone violation and then dictate your license plate number. Yea, you got it. I’ll git ya. When it comes to heavy lifting, try the Earth, milk-free Muscles. Try the Earth.

Sincerely,
Gregorific

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April Eighteenth

4/18/2012

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So when I mentioned Earth Day Birthday did you pause and smirk? Pump your fist in the air? Say “huh”?

I’m getting to be a real environmental nut. Little things drive me bonkers: when people don’t use both sides of a sheet of paper, COVER sheets, the junk mail I can’t seem to stop, the empty buses driving about- fill them up people- they’re free and you can text all you want during the ride!

Stuff like that. And more. But I won’t go on. One of my missions is to highlight the importance of responsible environmental stewardship. Yeah, I threw down that word. Stewardship. I have a whole pocketful of lingo like that at my disposal. So watch out.

For the third year now I'm helping organize our neighborhood's Earth Day Clean-Up Event. Can you believe there are still people who litter out there? Really? People. Come on. You can’t ask your iphones where the nearest trash can is? Isn’t there an app for that? Every year we pick up more and more disgusting trash: plastic bottles, condom wrappers, shell casings, beer cans…what kind of party goes on here in my community? Ever heard of the indoors? It’s a great place to party. Indoors. Trash up yer own domiciles, not the homes of little critters fighting to survive our nasty air and water and dirt pollution.

Wow. Um, writing, yeah, that’s what I intended this website to revolve around. Here is me circling back around to it. I don’t get writer’s block. I get Earth obsessed. The distractions are never-ending. Hours pass as I google ‘off-gassing’ to find out why my new bench stinks like a funeral home (sorry funeral homes). I stay up WAY too late watching documentaries that won’t let me sleep, like Tapped and Gasland. I spend time making organic meals that taste really…organic. Non-toxic alternative research is my hobby, my habit, my writer’s distraction.

And now I have incorporated the two. I write about it. So maybe this way I can pass it along to your brains, and it can knock around in there. Eventually maybe it’ll reach the people who litter. And the only way to get me to stop is to quit littering.

~Megan (the squeaky, unhinged wheel)

In honor of this sentiment, I will quote a personal hero.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Thoreau in Walden

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April Seventeenth

4/17/2012

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It's funny what kids will do with trash. They love it. When does that stop? When do you start to say 'ewwww' instead of 'cool!' when the trashcan spills over. Maybe it depends on who you are from the start. At my house we're trash lovers, we use it in weird ways and look at it with eager eyes.
This month I get to talk about trash a lot because I'm on a couple Earth Day Birthday Committees. It's a personal hobby. Ever seen a kid play with a shoebox guitar for three hours? How many dog toys do you think can be made out of a plastic bottle? How many uses are there for a frozen grapefruit rind? I have discovered these things. I hope you have too. In honor of thinking more about trash, here is a poem I heard a long time ago that I love.

Garbage Truck by Michael Ryan

"Once I had two strong young men hanging off my butt
and a distinctive stink that announced
when I was inching down your street
at the regal, elephantine pace
that let my men step down from me running
to heave your garbage into my gut
then fling the clanging metal cans
to tumble and rumble, crash and leap
back to sort-of-where you'd lugged them to the curb
before another oblivious night of sleep.
Did you think life was tough?
I reveled in it, all the stuff
you threw out, used up, let rot,
the pretty packaging, the scum, the snot,
vomit and filth, everything you thought
useless, dangerous, or repugnant:
I ate it for breakfast. I hauled it
out of sight. And what did I get?
You were annoyed by my noise.
You coughed at my exhaust.
Your kids stopped playing in the street
to pinch their noses and gag theatrically
with no clue how sick they'd be without me.
I was the lowest of the low, an untouchable,
yet I did what I did and did it well.
Now I am not laughable: a "waste management vehicle"
denatured robotic sanitized presentable.
My strong young men are gone. I have no smell.
I'm painted deep green to look organic and clean.
Your "residential trash carts" are matching green
injection-molded high-density polyethylene
that barely thuds when I lower them to the ground
after I've stabbed and lifted and upended them
with twin prongs that retract into my side
so not to scratch anything or scare anyone.
Who can complain? Right there on your street
I mash and compact and obliterate your waste.
You need never give it a second thought.
It's safe it's easy nobody gets dirty.
It's how you want your life to be.
But life's not garbage. Garbage is life.
Look what you've got. Look what you throw out."

You loved it too, didn't you? Now go dig through the trash and have some fun :)
~Megan

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April Fifteenth

4/15/2012

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http://www.amazon.com/Signs
Well well well, you HAVE been paying attention. Today I was congratulated while at an EarthDay Birthday that my short story SIGNS is a hot new release on amazon.com. THANKS! I'm thrilled and while I don't know exactly what this means, I'm going to celebrate with pancakes for dinner. In fact, my cousin Susan tells me my story is ranked at 46. That seems pretty awesome, right?
I'm glad the story is out there reaching hearts and minds.
Haven't read it? Here you go, let's shoot for number 45, shall we?
~Megan
Below is a thank you laugh from me to you. I always wondered what bunnies did for shadow amusement :)
http://www.amazon.com/Signs-ebook

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April Fifth

4/5/2012

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THANK YOU!
All of your positive support and love has gotten me to the point where I can share my writing. My short story SIGNS is for sale on amazon.com and UntreedReads.com, Barnes and Noble, and Kindle. Can I get a woot!
Here is a poem that inspires me everyday, in honor of this occasion:
"Don't do it, Eleanor told the little girl; insist on your cup of stars; once they have trapped you into being like everyone else you will never see your cup of stars again; don't do it; and the little girl glanced at her, and smiled a little subtle, dimpling, wholly comprehending smile, and shook her head stubbornly at the glass. Brave girl, Eleanor thought; wise, brave girl.”
― Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House
Thanks again for embracing my writing. ~Megan

This is me thanking you.

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April Third

4/3/2012

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Just sent the proofed copy back to Untreed reads! The count down is on! SIGNS will be coming soon to a computer near you! ~Megan
To tide you over until then, here are writerly words of wisdom from Anne Tyler:
“I want to live other lives. I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get. Writing is my way of making other chances.” —Anne Tyler

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