I have a camp counselor named Thunder to thank for this blog post. It’s a repeat-after-me song. My daughters went to an environmental camp that ended with a family camp-out. Thunder led this song and it not only made me incredibly hungry for a certain food, it also made me want to put my lighter in the air. I didn’t have a lighter. So I’m holding it up to you guys, the truest gregorific fans around, to wave back and forth until it lodges tightly into your brains. As it did mine. You are welcome.

It’s cheese, cheese, cheese that make the mice go ‘round. (repeat each verse after me)
It’s mice, mice, mice that make the cats go ‘round. (do it)
It’s cats, cats, cats that make the dogs go ‘round. (don't be shy)
It’s dogs, dogs, dogs that make the boys go ‘round. (your co-workers will like it)
It’s boys, boys, boys that make the girls go ‘round. (louder)
It’s girls, girls, girls that make the love go ‘round. (repeat)
It’s love, love, love that makes the world go ‘round. (insert dramatic pause)
And so you see…
It’s really cheese, cheese, cheese that makes the world go ‘round.

I knew you’d like it. Go get yourself a slice.

Cheesy,
~gregorific

I read an article in The New Yorker about people trying to untame cats. Seriously. At catteries, breeders obsessively tinker with feline genetics trying to produce a kind of wild perfection.

{No, I did not make that up. Cattery. It’s a word and people use it without laughing. Like a factory. A cat factory. Doesn’t it remind you of a puppy mill?}

They breed wild with tame to produce cross-species like Bengals (hybrid of an Asian leopard cat and a domestic cat), and Savannahs (hybrid of a Servel and a Siamese). There are other varieties like the Serengeti, Toyger, and Cheetoh. The goal is to combine “ideal” wild-looking characteristics to get a mini jungle cat for a pet.   

Yes, it’s controversial, but not illegal. The international Cat Association accepts crossbreeds like the Savannah for official registration.

Here’s where I remind/admit that I have a cockapoo, a hybrid dog with poodle and cocker spaniel parents. I would like to note that this hybrid is within the same species. BUT it was done with the intent to please humans, not the dogs. Maybe that is why this interests me. And my paranoid mind whispers, Are humans next? 

Cross species breeding is not easy on the animals and potential side effects can be horrific. PETA denounces it. The truth is that these half-wild, half-tame cats have unpredictable temperaments. Once the hybrid pet bites, or scratches, or never stops spraying, the owners try to get rid of it. The Big Cat Rescue organization takes the position that this type of breeding is dangerous to the feral cat populations. If the tainted gene pool finds its way to the stray cats, then we have mini predators on the loose. There’s a Sci-Fi novel for you. 

When I read about this I kept snorting in disbelief. It is the saddest and most unbelievable thing I have heard about in a long time. And it’s true. A cattery owner can sell wild crossbreeds for fifteen thousand dollars or more. The mini-tigers, leopards, and panthers may look good if you go for that sort of I-own-a-wild-animal image, but they still retain feral instincts. They’re dangerous. 

Why is having a wild cat glamorous? I am mystified. How are there enough people interested in this odd cruelty? Why would you risk having a wild animal sleeping next to you just to have a look, or prestige, or thrill.  Apparently, it’s a dream for some people. Like an image fetish. They want to see themselves with this lion on a leash. I guess because holding the leash feels powerful.

People are so over scared of pit bulls and yet thousands of cats are being purposefully bred to be half predator, half purr machine. Who knows what genes come out when? Dogfights are universally abhorred. I believe catteries are in the same category of wrongness. Pimping your animals out to meet your own delusions of grandeur/power/scientific madness is not cool, people.  

I hope that PETA and friends can lobby for tighter laws before breeder curiosity really does kill the simplicity of a normal pet cat.   

Always domestic,
~gregorific