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August Twenty Five

8/25/2016

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The Pursuit of Coffee

​There comes a point in every coffee lover’s life that they need to ask themselves: How far will I go?
I have reached this point several times, given that I have gone caffeine free several times. Once back on the bean, I find I will do what it takes to get my java. 
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Situation: Camping with the Girl Scouts. Sure, they say they’ll use the kettle over the fire with some instant brew. But that sounds…iffy. I have to help (or wait for someone to) start the fire. Then wait for water to boil. And then the worst: share. Everyone probably wants a cup to help wash away the residue of the night. (It’s always something: mice nest under the mattress, leaks, snores, freezing, a couple kids on you, a crier, noises…) 
I drink more than a mere cup. So I import mini cans of Starbucks Doubleshots. It does the opposite of what you’d think. Knowing I have my stash helps me sleep at night.
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​Situation: Traditional Family Travel. Hotels are my friends. Most have open, usually well-stocked coffee centers in the lobbies. If we’re leaving in a hurry, I have family members get me my second and third cups. Like human cup holders, they are there when I need them. 
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Situation: Lack of Enablers. At one point, Mr. Gregorific did not fully comprehend my prescriptive use of coffee. My jonesing conflicted with his scrooging. Take Disney Land. We were in a massive hurry to get there exactly when the gates opened to get our money’s worth, a loaded term if I’ve ever heard one.
Initially, I was on board with this goal, with the promise of a coffee stop en route. But then we hit traffic. The coffee stop had to be bumped to first thing when we walk in.
We walk in and the closest kiosk displays the doomsday news: coffee is about fifty bucks. Well, that’s how Mr. Gregorific saw it. He mentally computes the price of beans, water, heat, and materials used to make the cup. Or something close to that. Once he has a number in his head, paying more is like asking him for a kidney. 
Not me. Certain things are worth a kidney (his). I purchased one cup, and swallowed it down along with comments about how I was basically drinking gold.
I had a lot of time to think while standing in lines. And more lines. And chasing after Princesses and Godmothers and such. At some point, I decided it was my turn.
I made sure each kid’s hand was being held and then proclaimed, “You know what? It’s a small world, I’m going for coffee, let me know how they like the ride.” I hear they loved it. Almost as much as I did my fresh cup of hot liquid gold. 
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Other obstacles crop up even when I have all my grounds in a row at home.  
Situation: No milk. Okay, don’t panic. Do you have powdered milk? Do you have yogurt? Yogurt is a last resort but it’s better (to me) than drinking it black. Sure, the yogurt forms blobs of curds on the top, but just close your eyes. 
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​Situation: Broken/lost carafe. How does this happen? Well, I sometimes take the carafe in the car so I can refill. Then I leave it in the car. Then someone takes the car to work. In this case, I have the coffee machine but not the perfect trigger to start the coffee dripping. I use a fork to milk/drip it into a mug. Perhaps this is dangerous. Risk of electrocution? Worth it.
Situation: Accidentally bought unground coffee, and you don’t own or you broke your grinder. Well, you have a blender, right? You have a mortar and pestle? A strong arm and a Ziplock bag? 
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Basically, you do what it takes.
Hmmm…is there a group for this? I bet they serve great coffee.
Caffeine wishes,
~gregorific
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