One of the major efforts in my life is to not be a careless person.
To put it more positively, I try to live a conscious life. Once I tweak my autocorrect about one thing, another rears its medusa-like head. And then I set out on another cleanse of some sort. My focus on one might dilute my focus on another.
People, this is a steady stream of effort. And reflection. And more effort.
I think most people are like this but with different issues on their lists.
When I see something I really dislike in another person, then it reminds me to not be that way myself.
If I notice I’m irritating others then I bend over backwards to stop it.
Gosh, all this effort to be me.
Do you ever feel like the only one in the room really feeling each minute? Thinking and experiencing time from not just one perspective? It’s exhausting. What kind of disability is that? Maybe over-empathy or super-sensitivity or insecurity-overdrive? It also involves the misfortune of sensing when we are displeasing someone and over trying to fix it, thereby creating another problem.
The better I feel, the better I express what I really think. To fiddlesticks with anyone who disagrees. I like to speak my mind and it’s taken me a while to figure that out.
I shouldn’t care so much about what other people think. Easy to say. Hard for some of us to do.
I’m often wrong. I write letters to the government- a lot. My reaction to the oil spill was to write 30 letters. It didn’t seem like enough but it did help me to feel better-- just saying what I thought to people in power.
I also get involved in school matters, to the chagrin of many school matters. I am uppity about the local and global environment. And I believe in putting children first- no matter what. And while I won’t judge you, I will tell you exactly what I think. And… I’ll tell you if I realize I’m wrong.
I don’t want my kids to have the antennae I have developed. I want them to walk into a room and see, feel, and be themselves and only that. Who cares what others think, it shouldn’t change who you are.
When they leave if everyone sighs in relief, then I am confident the room was full of dimwits. I want them to think that way too.
Can a hyper empathetic raise a brick wall?
Lots of mortaring of morals and honesty is a first layer. Further masonry is left in the hands of fate.