I apologize for my aggressive passivity in posting new blog entries. I have been polishing and polishing my manuscript until it is now quite blindingly shiny. Good news: I’m back. Bad news: I’m wearing sunglasses indoors.
Speaking of Which
Here’s an under-rated talent: passive aggression. If I was asked the classic If-you-were-a-superhero-what-would-your-power-be question, I’d seriously consider passive aggression. It ranks in at fourth. Right after flying, winning-all-arguments-with-your-husband, and invisibility.
I am an easy target for passive aggression. Are you? Something about me screams, don't confront her head on. Go around. Under. To the side. Make sure she has no idea that she's dead center in the bulls-eye. And then wham! Perfectly passive aggression.
I am an easy target for passive aggression. Are you? Something about me screams, don't confront her head on. Go around. Under. To the side. Make sure she has no idea that she's dead center in the bulls-eye. And then wham! Perfectly passive aggression.
When I was 16, I worked at a well-known children’s clothing store in a huge mall. My boss, the parents shopping, and the kids finagling clothing were masters of passive aggression. And I must admit, my favorite part of the job was taking secret breaks in the dressing room. That’s where I would hunch up on the bench and try to blank out the looping soundtrack. Those songs are all dead to me.
When I was 21, I sold snoods (hats) during the Christmas season. It was in a kiosk at the same mall. I thought this was a link up in the food chain because I had center aisle status but no, no, no. All the workers vied for the lone stool to sit on and major games were played to aggressively sell hats with a passive, polite attitude.
For ten years or so, I was a mental health counselor. Enough said.
When I was 21, I sold snoods (hats) during the Christmas season. It was in a kiosk at the same mall. I thought this was a link up in the food chain because I had center aisle status but no, no, no. All the workers vied for the lone stool to sit on and major games were played to aggressively sell hats with a passive, polite attitude.
For ten years or so, I was a mental health counselor. Enough said.
And now, as a writer, mother, wife, and community activist, I receive more passive aggression than I know what to do with. I’m at the pinnacle. I couldn’t get much more. I try my best to give it right back. But I am so much better at aggressive-aggressive, or passive-passive. The mixed messages of passive aggression confuse me. It’s time for some googlin’.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the term passive-aggressive was first used in 1946. They define it like this: "behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness)." http://www.merriam-webster.com
Hmm, I’d love to know who coined the term. Below are some tried and true passive aggressive techniques:
Technique #1: Huff, puff, roll eyes, trudge, do it late, halfheartedly.
Technique #2: Purposefully forget.
Technique #3: Pout.
Technique #4: Do the job but act taken for granted, martyr extraordinaire.
The difference between what is said and done is the passive aggression.
Hmm, I’d love to know who coined the term. Below are some tried and true passive aggressive techniques:
Technique #1: Huff, puff, roll eyes, trudge, do it late, halfheartedly.
Technique #2: Purposefully forget.
Technique #3: Pout.
Technique #4: Do the job but act taken for granted, martyr extraordinaire.
The difference between what is said and done is the passive aggression.
Instinctively, we all know how to be passive aggressive to a certain degree. If you are like me and hoping to spruce up your skills, here are some places to start.
The king of all sites: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com This is a collection of notes found and submitted by people either perpetrating passive aggression or falling victim to it. These notes are authentic. You can feel the realness. Have you ever written anything like that?
Okay, busted. The notes may not actually be very passive. More like rude and confrontational. But they are funny. And in the words of Dr. Scott Wetzler, a clinical psychologist, “A joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.” Many societal problems are exposed in these notes. The problems, by popularity, seem to be:
1. People eat people's food without asking.
2. People pee in the elevator.
3. People pee in the wastebasket at tanning salons.
4. People don't clean up after themselves.
5. People dump stuff in random places.
What does it mean that there is a website devoted to collecting such letters? People are awesome.
The king of all sites: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com This is a collection of notes found and submitted by people either perpetrating passive aggression or falling victim to it. These notes are authentic. You can feel the realness. Have you ever written anything like that?
Okay, busted. The notes may not actually be very passive. More like rude and confrontational. But they are funny. And in the words of Dr. Scott Wetzler, a clinical psychologist, “A joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.” Many societal problems are exposed in these notes. The problems, by popularity, seem to be:
1. People eat people's food without asking.
2. People pee in the elevator.
3. People pee in the wastebasket at tanning salons.
4. People don't clean up after themselves.
5. People dump stuff in random places.
What does it mean that there is a website devoted to collecting such letters? People are awesome.
McSweeney’s Open Letters to People Unlikely to Reply is just plain spectacular. I believe them. I learn from them. I aspire to write one. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/columns/open-letters-to-people-or-entities-who-are-unlikely-to-respond
Ever drawn a picture to go with your passive aggressive tweet? Well, that’s all they do at Twaggies. http://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/
This site features made-up words that often embody passive aggression, www.urbandictionary.com. Note to the more tender gregorific fans: This is a very offensive site.
Ever drawn a picture to go with your passive aggressive tweet? Well, that’s all they do at Twaggies. http://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/
This site features made-up words that often embody passive aggression, www.urbandictionary.com. Note to the more tender gregorific fans: This is a very offensive site.
I hope this post has made you value your passive aggressive skills more highly. Whichever profession you are currently in, I trust you will put this information to good use. And if I see your note on the passive aggressive notes.com page, feel free to give a little shout out to old gregorific. Or not. Whatever.
Tryin’,
~gregorific
Tryin’,
~gregorific
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