November Nine

Dumbassy


Gregorific took a first aid CPR class last weekend.  The scenario looked like this: torso of dummy on mat. No legs. No arms. No facial features. No chance I’m gonna let that stop me from saving his dumbassy. 

-Check scene for danger.-

Hey Dummy! Dummy! Are you okay? Are you okay?

You! Call 911!

I’m trained in first aid and CPR – may I have your permission to help you until professionals arrive?

{no response}

I take that as implied consent!

Put on rubber gloves. Take mouth barrier out. (When do I have these on hand?… Always be prepared.)

Care for victim. Bleeding? Apply pressure and clean bandages.

Breathing? Make comfortable and wait.

Not breathing? You don’t say.

30 chest compressions, 2 breaths

Repeat

Repeat

Repeat

Help has arrived! Paramedics take over.

Dummy, you owe me your life.

 I passed first aid and CPR!

~gregorific