Plaguerator
Gregorific has found vengeance. Yes, it took time and effort but revenge was oh, so sweet.
It began during the time of the plagues. My crew and I were on our way to the monkey bars. This is not a metaphor- we were walking up the path to the playground where we were going to bust some monkey bar moves up in heya. I should mention that my crew is made up of my dog and children. We walk on this path all the time.
Gregorific has found vengeance. Yes, it took time and effort but revenge was oh, so sweet.
It began during the time of the plagues. My crew and I were on our way to the monkey bars. This is not a metaphor- we were walking up the path to the playground where we were going to bust some monkey bar moves up in heya. I should mention that my crew is made up of my dog and children. We walk on this path all the time.
I paused to deadhead a marigold. I like to crush it between my fingers and then inhale the fresh scent of decay. I heard a raw, frightened scream. I flew to my youngest crew member- my baby!
A yellow jacket had stung her on her hand. I scooped her up and ran her home. During the short run, the other crew members filled me in on the horrific details.
A bee stung her.
Those are the gory details. But in the moment, it felt like a lot of questioning had to happen. What did the bee look like? (A bee! Duh!) What were you doing? (Stop blaming the victim!) Did you kill it? (No! It tried to kill me!) Is the stinger still in? (How would I knowwwww?)
The swelling began, the medications were given, observation period began, mucho television was watched. It seemed necessary. The story continued for the smallest crew member who, it turns out, is allergic to bees. But that is her story. Our storyline forks and follows the damned bees.
A yellow jacket had stung her on her hand. I scooped her up and ran her home. During the short run, the other crew members filled me in on the horrific details.
A bee stung her.
Those are the gory details. But in the moment, it felt like a lot of questioning had to happen. What did the bee look like? (A bee! Duh!) What were you doing? (Stop blaming the victim!) Did you kill it? (No! It tried to kill me!) Is the stinger still in? (How would I knowwwww?)
The swelling began, the medications were given, observation period began, mucho television was watched. It seemed necessary. The story continued for the smallest crew member who, it turns out, is allergic to bees. But that is her story. Our storyline forks and follows the damned bees.
No one messes with my crew.
I did a bit of research on how to safely exterminate a large amount of bees. I examined the path and found a nest. It looked like it was in the lower branches of the arbor tree. I put the word out to my awesome connections that I had a ‘situation’ that needed to be handled.
I got a name. I got a number. I called and put in the hit.
I did a bit of research on how to safely exterminate a large amount of bees. I examined the path and found a nest. It looked like it was in the lower branches of the arbor tree. I put the word out to my awesome connections that I had a ‘situation’ that needed to be handled.
I got a name. I got a number. I called and put in the hit.
The next day Benny the Bee-man arrived. This guy is famous and worth a reality TV show- no doubt. He will come -for free- and remove your bee nest completely. Here’s how he does it:
He freezes the bees.
He vacuums them up.
He sells the venom to a company developing a serum for bee allergies.
He freezes the bees.
He vacuums them up.
He sells the venom to a company developing a serum for bee allergies.
This took him an hour. Then he drove off. (I imagine they milk the venom out of the little bee butts, right?) And now the path is bee free. I only had time to ask him two questions. Although I really should request an interview and a ride along.
Do you get stung a lot? YES, he said.
What does your day look like? He told me he got five nests in town that morning and was off after this to get a couple more in the countryside.
That’s a lot of bee venom!
Later, I saw a bunch of bees writhing on the ground near the path. They were semi-conscious. I crushed some under my shoe and actually got the queen- she was a big momma. It gave me a lot of pleasure. So much that the guilt set in and I left them alone. Until later that night. Mr. Gregorific wondered aloud if the bees would reanimate (unfreeze) and rebuild.
I freaked.
The next morning –early- I went out with my broom and a tin foil box. I swept those suckers up. Some were still twitching. It was then that I realized gregorific fans would want to know. So I took this picture.
Do you get stung a lot? YES, he said.
What does your day look like? He told me he got five nests in town that morning and was off after this to get a couple more in the countryside.
That’s a lot of bee venom!
Later, I saw a bunch of bees writhing on the ground near the path. They were semi-conscious. I crushed some under my shoe and actually got the queen- she was a big momma. It gave me a lot of pleasure. So much that the guilt set in and I left them alone. Until later that night. Mr. Gregorific wondered aloud if the bees would reanimate (unfreeze) and rebuild.
I freaked.
The next morning –early- I went out with my broom and a tin foil box. I swept those suckers up. Some were still twitching. It was then that I realized gregorific fans would want to know. So I took this picture.
Later in that day, a random good Samaritan animal dug up the rest of the hive.
Here’s the path now. Peaceful, right?
Thanks Bee-man,
~gregorific
Here’s the path now. Peaceful, right?
Thanks Bee-man,
~gregorific
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